41 Comments

INTRO: FYI - @debs here leading the convo today - recently joined the team to focus on our community and content efforts! 👋🏼

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I have an auto-response email that says something like:



“Thanks for your message! In the interest of keeping my days productive, manageable and joyful, I limit the time I spend responding to emails each day. That means it may take a few extra days for me to get back to you. Thanks for your patience in helping me set healthy digital boundaries.”

I was nervous on the impact of my biz at first, but I usually get back a response asking if they can use it too ☁️✨💆🏻‍♀️

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That's lovely!! And it works because it provides context.

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Hey all,

Love the PD work, newsletter and threads. I stumbled across something from a boss in my earlier days in digital (ohhhh let's say that was *cough* a few years ago now). Anyway, its resonated recently with me because it respected other people's time - which I think is pretty key to subtly communicating the need to slow down - and also by default, respected my own time and approach..

It does remind me that the same challenges remain (and are somewhat worse) today as did then - with time and headspace management.

"Clients and colleagues are in meetings all day every day. It’s just the way things are. Therefore, I suggest a 50-20-10 rule.

50-word emails.

20-minute meetings.

10-slide decks. "

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Interesting rules - 20 minute meetings - has the "standup" feel to it. Requires focused meeting leader too.

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Love the norming aspect of this, Dave. When someone sets the tone for slow or light, it makes a huge difference in an organization.

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Hi New_ Public fam!

I like to practice not logging in to any social media platforms until after a certain time (preferably noon, but sometimes a bit before) on weekdays. Also, I keep my notifications turned off for everything online except priority emails, which relieves a lot of unnecessary stress and burden.

I am hoping to start making more space to use social media intentionally instead of just mindlessly scrolling. Like substituting a 2 hour scrolling session through Instagram for a 2 hour documentary/interview binge-watching session.

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In the workplace, I've found that tools like Slack and Teams encourage instant replies and thinking-as-I-type. I try to use the "remind me" function in Slack and the "Do not disturb" function on my laptop to hide notifications (or snooze them) while I'm doing focused work, and can get back to them later. It's so much more satisfying to be able to take the time to give a thoughtful response!

In the rest of life, the "avoiding-breaking-news" suggestion really resonates with me. There is such a nonstop flow of content you could be consuming at any given time, especially news. I'm going to challenge myself to try to unplug from that, and maybe also to generally seek out specific content rather than letting it get pushed to me and feel pressure to absorb it all (except from your newsletter, of course! But that doesn't come at me multiple times a day :)).

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Veronica - agree and great approach. You are reminding me of a construct I used to be able to keep - having "input" days and "output" days - I find there is a high switching costs between thinking strategically and executing. So, ideally - really splitting them up is so helpful - but often not practical

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Yes!! I feel like (similarly to the open vs. closed-concept office layout discourse), there is or is going to be a focus vs. multitasking discourse when it comes to modern work. I feel like we've been fed this idea that multitasking and "do it fast" is the key to successful knowledge work, but task-switching has (research-backed!) cognitive costs that at least some of us end up feeling very heavily. Sure, one can cross a lot off of their list...but how deep, long-term, high-quality is it?

I'm kind of interested in experimenting with your model but maybe for half-days (a whole day of time to do focused/strategic work might be asking too much! haha)...thanks!

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Half days work!

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Why should slowing down and being more connected be on the user to hack?

We've been thinking a lot about the constraints and ephemerality of some new platforms, features, spaces, and behaviors i.e wordle or the new social app BeReal:

https://www.elitedaily.com/news/what-is-bereal-app-how-to-use

Thoughts?

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I have heard of BeReal, I'm not a user though so my position may be biased. The most recent thought I had about these platforms, is that we only use them for our out-group of friends. ex. I use them mostly to follow what former friends (that have moved away) are doing. I actually find that these platforms can create drama or conflicting thoughts when you interact with people in your current friend circle, and they see that you either ignored them, they ignored you, you ghosted them, etc. tbh, I would probably become bored with the BeReal app and realize that the time spent on there and the value gained would be very little. Which I wish that was the case for more social media.

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Yes - the reward/return is low on most of these "share my life" apps. IMHO.

OTOH - I try to really take second to think about WHY I am posting - is it coming from a healthy place of this was so fun or beautiful or interesting or is it a need for external validation?

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I'm also not a user of BeReal, but the concept feels a bit like it preys on the notion of scarcity/ephermerality...the user is sort of on guard for that moment that they'll be asked to post, and if they don't do it then they miss their chance! It makes me think of Snapchat in a sense. What I like about Wordle is that it does the opposite, which to me is more similar to slowing down - you can interact with it any time of day, but once you do, there is nothing more for you to do until tomorrow. haha

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That a great distinction. I am fascinated by Wordle [and addicted in all the good ways] as it tapped into everyone's desire for this forcing function.

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One of the things we've been fascinated by is constraints and ephemerality in design to encourage authenticity and presence - i.e. Wordle, the new social app: BeReal: https://www.elitedaily.com/news/what-is-bereal-app-how-to-use

Is there anything we could build into the tools themselves?

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Ideas:

- Never copy paste

- Navigate only via links

- Write/draw messages on paper, take a photo, and send that photo

- Create a spreadsheet of people you follow, so you can unfollow everyone and empty your feeds

- Never talk about yourself

- Remove all notifications, get a burner phone, only give number to lovers, friends and family

- Instead of posts, create websites

- Bring your laptop and place yourself in a public park when online

- Join five zoom calls at the same time

- Write alt text first

- Downgrade your internet connection

- Set an eternal OOO responder to your email

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Great list! Is this "join five zoom calls" or NEVER join five zoom calls at the same time?

Ah - an eternal OOO -not quite practical tho?

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If you ever have found yourself in more than one zoom call at the same time, you are committing yourself to live life differently. Five calls is the radical version of that, I promise it is the accelerated road to slowness. And with the eternal OOO you can never disappoint people, imagine how happy they will be when you reply from your holiday.

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So as a means to force and reevaluate - five zooms - got it

OOO - the old underpromise over deliver! ;)

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Love the analog drawing, Kristoffer. I've found that it helps my thinking and communication with teams too. Perhaps a movement to analog slide decks?

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Or analog notebooks? www.buymynotebook.com ;)

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I found myself in a downgraded internet connection situation when I last moved. It has improved my days so much. If I want wifi, it requires me to take a 5–10 minute walk. At my house, I have just enough signal for texting or looking up necessary info. Often that info takes minutes to load. Slow internet is my guru right now.

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I wonder about practices people have noticed at the community level.

There's a faith-based group that turns their posting function off each Sunday for Sabbath. Are any other communities implementing slow-down norms or rituals for summer?

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Love this prompt. 🐌

Some personal practices* (that I'm gently trying this summer). 🌞A big thing is around digital habits in the morning, some I like:

- "Wake up in your own life"- Instead of scrolling other people's lives in little squares. Wake up in your own context and mind. Look outside, write morning pages.

- "Be a human first" - Before going to the phone, do things a human needs. Breathe, Stretch, Drink a glass of water, Move body or meditate—— all before becoming a disembodied head on the internet.

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I try to do one online task at a time. Also, instead of automatically logging into social media or the news, I ask myself what I am needing in the moment. Most likely a break- so I should as well really take a moment to rest my mind (e.g. take a walk, pet my cats, take a deep breath).

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Healthy mindfulness indeed

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Eliminate breaking news emails from newspapers

Only look at listserves once a day

Refrain from reply to all

More one on one contact

Curate real discussions online that you used to have with friends at your caffe.

Listen to the Speaker, take a moment to pause to digest and then offer a response

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I'd like to see your list of listserves 🕊️

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The listserves are as follows

One senior residence community

Two museum volunteer communities

6-12 advocacy activists lists or organizations I belong to who have forums

I follow blogs that come in my emails too but don’t comment to them.

Not going out during covid has increased reliance on these forms fir activists.

Regina

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Curious - how you take in all this information in a slower, more present way? If at all. I always get frenetic catching up on listservs [or the current equivalent]

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I wrote before that the slow version is to look less maybe once or twice a day instead or looking at each email as it’s received. I will try that.

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Phew, that is quite a commitment. Here in Copenhagen I am not aware of too many listservers supporting local community, but I'd love for my street to have one instead of the Facebook group. That said, we do have a kind person on the street who writes a street newsletter, it is very infrequent but very nice :)

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Perhaps it’s an American thing. There are such neighborhood listserves not associated with an intentional senior community ( meals and housekeeping provided). Some names in the SAn Francisco Bay Area are the big tent, next door. You can probably google that. My Neice is in one called the mothers group in her city. Exchange baby sitting, swap goods and services, take care of sick people who need meals while recovering etc.

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Ha! That was my reaction! You're reminding me of a time I have forgotten ;).

Are substack newsletters the new listservs? Cuz my inbox has that same feeling on certain days

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Yes. I have eliminated all breaking news from my life- if it truly is breaking it finds it's way into my feeds

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Time for a classic http://www.aaronsw.com/weblog/hatethenews

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💙 Aaron

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❤️ curate real discussions online - so is this really about smaller social spaces?

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