We’ve reflected on the significance of slowing down in last month’s Open Thread, and yesterday, we discussed the importance of communal seating spaces and the resurgence of popularity for conversation pits.
Living in such a commerce-centered and algorithmic digital world, so many of us are yearning for more intimate spaces that illuminate community and empower our authenticity through discussion. We find ourselves searching for a space and “social nest” — where we can decompress, leaning into expressing our fullest selves.
We’re curious:
What does the ultimate comfy-cozy online digital space look like to you?
We are assuming that you, like us, are looking for more flourishing places on the internet. We want this to be one of those places! Please treat others with openness, generosity, and respect.
One of my favorite early pandemic experiments was when community facilitator maven Tony Bacigalupo convened a no screen, phone only immersive audio gathering. (hacking zoom)
It had that surreal effect of heightening your attention in your physical AND digital space. It was fun, warm, and exciting. Clubhouse has moments of that— but the no/lo interface felt like being on one of those mod ball chairs.
Aug 9, 2022·edited Aug 9, 2022Liked by New_ Public
I'm trying to build this right now! Excited to hear what others say, but for me, it is private but still porous, somewhere that I can meet and get to know other people well, not just see posts, but also don't have to look good, somewhere where it can be spontaneous and there's an atmosphere of acceptance and welcome. (I welcome thoughts here https://lu.ma/getwith)
I have been LOVING the new community around async work being built by Twist (https://async.twist.com/). To me it feels "comfy-cozy" precisely because the community is so strong and there are always lots of thought-provoking comments that make me view things (especially ways of working) in a new light. As someone who has worked at more traditional workspaces before, it's been refreshing to find such a welcoming online space.
Right now, the only places I feel actual online community are a few chat rooms, ranging in size from about a dozen members to maybe a hundred (but with no more than 20 commonly active). They're all based in relationships I first made offline, but in the larger ones there are people I know and like who I haven't met physically. I once had a Web forum where I felt community, the comments of a particular webcomic, but it's long gone.
I think a big part of an ideal space for me is one where it is low effort to get a sense of who's around, and the mood. Status indicators, message reactions, and the way Discord shows people in voice channels even before you join one all contribute a lot to this. It might be a vulnerability thing - if I say "hey, is anyone around?" and get nothing, that might feel bad. But if I can look and see "people are probably around" or "nope, pretty dead in here right now" then I don't have to take that risk.
Other than that, the usual - I want a lot of psychological safety and trust among the members, something members who don't know each other likely have in common (a mutual friend or interest) to help get new conversations started, and a flexible UI that works across many different platforms. For a true ideal, it would all be on an open protocol so I can modify my own clients to exactly my preferences, too.
A component of cozy for me is a narrowed band of stimulus, where the tech stops way short of delivering the Information Age to my door. Digital spaces where I get this safe and contained feeling have been one-question-at-a-time tax wizards and health insurance signups, as well as really basic phone games. In these environments, the small effort I put into interaction feels on par with what the interface wants from me.
I offered free mindfulness drop-ins, daily, for 30 minutes, by Zoom, for nearly 2 years of the pandemic. At first, it was people stunned by their new circumstances, but it grew into people touching base, in all their pandemic splendor (no blurred backgrounds), sometimes touring their messy homes for us, mostly in pjs, just being vulnerable and showing up. The community evolved its own guidelines and by the end it was longer, with 30 extra minutes of hanging out and chatting. People ask me to start them up again (folks went back to work and life changed), and I'm wary because it was that constellation of events that made the experience so special. It was the ultimate cozy space, but it came together because a person did that and it initially was around an idea everyone supported (20 minutes of communal mindfulness practice). Those are important details.
I'm unsure if I'd like an online digital space to feel comfy-cozy: it quickly ends up like the kids pit at McDonald's. That is not to say that I am against diverse expressions of digital spaces and like @alexthebez I'd like to recommend Are.na.
I created a community where I made a couple of rules to create a commitment to show up.
Rule 1: small one-off fee to enter
Rule 2: you have to participate at least once per month (this is one message into our Slack, so it's a pretty low bar)
I did this because I wanted to develop deeper relationships with people and I was tired of spaces that had people who didn't show up. 7 months in and it's my fave li'l space on the internet. There are 30 of us, I've removed about 15 since the beginning.
One of my favorite early pandemic experiments was when community facilitator maven Tony Bacigalupo convened a no screen, phone only immersive audio gathering. (hacking zoom)
It had that surreal effect of heightening your attention in your physical AND digital space. It was fun, warm, and exciting. Clubhouse has moments of that— but the no/lo interface felt like being on one of those mod ball chairs.
https://twitter.com/tonybgoode
https://www.aarniooriginals.com/products/ball-chair
I'm trying to build this right now! Excited to hear what others say, but for me, it is private but still porous, somewhere that I can meet and get to know other people well, not just see posts, but also don't have to look good, somewhere where it can be spontaneous and there's an atmosphere of acceptance and welcome. (I welcome thoughts here https://lu.ma/getwith)
I have been LOVING the new community around async work being built by Twist (https://async.twist.com/). To me it feels "comfy-cozy" precisely because the community is so strong and there are always lots of thought-provoking comments that make me view things (especially ways of working) in a new light. As someone who has worked at more traditional workspaces before, it's been refreshing to find such a welcoming online space.
Right now, the only places I feel actual online community are a few chat rooms, ranging in size from about a dozen members to maybe a hundred (but with no more than 20 commonly active). They're all based in relationships I first made offline, but in the larger ones there are people I know and like who I haven't met physically. I once had a Web forum where I felt community, the comments of a particular webcomic, but it's long gone.
I think a big part of an ideal space for me is one where it is low effort to get a sense of who's around, and the mood. Status indicators, message reactions, and the way Discord shows people in voice channels even before you join one all contribute a lot to this. It might be a vulnerability thing - if I say "hey, is anyone around?" and get nothing, that might feel bad. But if I can look and see "people are probably around" or "nope, pretty dead in here right now" then I don't have to take that risk.
Other than that, the usual - I want a lot of psychological safety and trust among the members, something members who don't know each other likely have in common (a mutual friend or interest) to help get new conversations started, and a flexible UI that works across many different platforms. For a true ideal, it would all be on an open protocol so I can modify my own clients to exactly my preferences, too.
A component of cozy for me is a narrowed band of stimulus, where the tech stops way short of delivering the Information Age to my door. Digital spaces where I get this safe and contained feeling have been one-question-at-a-time tax wizards and health insurance signups, as well as really basic phone games. In these environments, the small effort I put into interaction feels on par with what the interface wants from me.
I offered free mindfulness drop-ins, daily, for 30 minutes, by Zoom, for nearly 2 years of the pandemic. At first, it was people stunned by their new circumstances, but it grew into people touching base, in all their pandemic splendor (no blurred backgrounds), sometimes touring their messy homes for us, mostly in pjs, just being vulnerable and showing up. The community evolved its own guidelines and by the end it was longer, with 30 extra minutes of hanging out and chatting. People ask me to start them up again (folks went back to work and life changed), and I'm wary because it was that constellation of events that made the experience so special. It was the ultimate cozy space, but it came together because a person did that and it initially was around an idea everyone supported (20 minutes of communal mindfulness practice). Those are important details.
I'm unsure if I'd like an online digital space to feel comfy-cozy: it quickly ends up like the kids pit at McDonald's. That is not to say that I am against diverse expressions of digital spaces and like @alexthebez I'd like to recommend Are.na.
I created a community where I made a couple of rules to create a commitment to show up.
Rule 1: small one-off fee to enter
Rule 2: you have to participate at least once per month (this is one message into our Slack, so it's a pretty low bar)
I did this because I wanted to develop deeper relationships with people and I was tired of spaces that had people who didn't show up. 7 months in and it's my fave li'l space on the internet. There are 30 of us, I've removed about 15 since the beginning.
a lot like tumblr i suppose, but with more familiar people