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Drawing on Robin's idea that to love on the internet is to return: on social media specifically, I think slowing down and allowing space for context might be an act of care.

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The challenge, of course, is that slowing down doesn't "show up" on the internet. I mean, even in this context, right here, the act of reading and considering is totally invisible; only the act of speaking shows up. (Hello!) One of the great properties of physical space, one that's still totally (?) missing online, is what I think of as the "eloquence" of quiet presence.

Imagine if, in the material world, when you stopped speaking, you disappeared, *poof*…!

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Brings to mind some spaces like quiet Twitch streams for studying, and just being in a space together online. –Josh

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The Center for Humane Technology has been using Spatial Chat (https://spatial.chat) for some of their events. I think that preserves some of what you're referring to.

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Sometimes I do a thought experiment in my head, imagining a Twitter timeline in which every time a person decided *not* to tweet, it put a little message in the timeline: "@robinsloan has nothing to say at this time," etc. You'd have to scroll and scroll to find the "real" tweets, and I am fascinated by the feeling I get, just imagining it.

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Considering tweeting again just to see how this plays out!

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very interested! –Josh

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It's like how just sitting back and 'listening' is only really revealed when someone comments, "Longtime lurker, first-time commenter". Or how when speaking to a group of people on Zoom with their videos off, you can't get any sense that people are listening.

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And isn't it interesting that we consider only speaking valid - if that happened in real life conversation it would feel terrible. Listening is one of the strongest acts of care someone can do, imho.

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Indeed there are like a dozen of things like this, including https://skittish.com/

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One hundred percent! Something like Netflix Party might be an exaggeration of this idea. There's little room to enjoy the TV show/movie in silence, I feel the need to constantly react to let the other person know I'm around.

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Just googled Netflix Party and now I need to live on the moon.

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I read the book and enjoyed the writing a lot. My favorite thing about the book is the depth of the community and mutual responsibility that formed so it's fun today's question is about friendship and care.

I want to throw in mini-conferences as a model of friendship and care, because this gets to the actual context we desire. Of course, Zoom can be painful but the right pace and timing, and the right enthralling content, can create that showing up we need and want.

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